Out of Beat (Boys of Fallout Book 1) Read online

  Out of Beat

  A Boys of Fallout Novel

  Cassandra Giovanni

  Show n'ot Tell Publishing

  Connecticut

  Copyright © Cassandra Giovanni, 2016

  All Rights Reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be produced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  Show n’ot Tell Publishing

  Connecticut, USA

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or deceased, events or locations are wholly coincidental.

  PUBLISHER’S CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA:

  Giovanni, Cassandra

  Out of Beat

  ISBN: 978-1539659686

  Cover Art: Gio Design Studios © 2016

  1

  Hey Beautiful Girl,

  Yeah, you, sitting all alone

  We’ve got a story to tell

  It’s a story the world should know

  We’re beautiful even when we let these scars show

  -KILL ME SOFTLY

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Behind the Lens (Boys of Fallout, #2)

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Other Novels by the Author

  2

  Chapter 1

  I stare down as my phone vibrates its way across my desk table with Joey’s face on the screen, tongue out and middle finger up. I can’t help the smile that comes to my face as I lean back and put my feet on my desk. Every week I look forward to this call and someone else to talk to besides Mom and Dad.

  “Hey, brother,” I say as I look across the desk at a picture of us as kids.

  Joey is three years older than me, and we’ve always been close–even during the past three years while he’s been on the road with his pop-punk band Kill Me Softly. He’s the lead singer and front man, and it fits him well. He’s not shy, and he knows his way around the music world. It’s one of the main reason they’re going on tour with a major label backing them.

  “Hey, Sky. Sorry, I didn’t call first thing in the morning. It’s been pretty crazy–but I’ll be home soon,” Joey says, and I can hear the smile on his lips as my feet slip off the desk.

  I manage to close my mouth enough to ask, “What?”

  “Yup, we have a bit of time before the big tour starts, and we’re all pretty home sick. You haven’t moved into my room have you?” he teases, and I stare around the basement that’s been my room since I turned fourteen.

  I’ve always had the better room.

  “Yeah, no thanks — I bet it’s still a mess from the last time you were here,” I shoot back, and the quiet on the other end makes me think there’s something he’s not telling me. “So what else is going on?”

  “I kind of have an ulterior motive for coming home,” he replies, and I hear him cracking his knuckles.

  I stand and go to where my longboard hangs, spinning the wheels before stopping them with my fingers. “And that would be?”

  “How are you enjoying that barista-community-college shindig Mom and Dad locked you into?”

  I stop mid-stride to my bed. “Not as if I have a choice.”

  I haven’t declared a major, and I’m aimlessly picking through gen-ed classes to pass the time when I’m not working. I’m an eighteen-year-old with zero social life– not that I mind it. I’ve chosen it to be like this. I blink hard as I push away the memories of what happened after the guys left.

  “Do you want to keep doing that, though, Sky?” Joey asks, and his voice has deepened.

  I shrug as I stare at my camera, sitting next to my laptop, a recent photo shoot on the screen. “What’s your point?”

  “Are you still hauling that camera around?”

  “What else would I be doing?”

  Joey laughs, and the sound warms my veins.

  “How am I supposed to know? You’re socially inadequate,” Joey teases.

  I grit my teeth. “Am not!”

  “What do you call a teenager who uses absolutely no form of social media?” I open my mouth to say I’m not a teenager anymore, but he cuts me off; “Instagram doesn’t count. Especially, when all you do is use it for photography.”

  “Then you know I still have a camera!”

  “Actually, it was Madman who found it,” Joey explains, and my chest tightens to the point I wonder if I’m still breathing. When stars pop in my vision, I realize I’m not.

  What the hell is Danny Maddox doing stalking me on social media–or attempting to, since there isn’t much to see? I finally manage to breathe in. Danny ‘Madman’ Maddox– my brother’s best friend– the kid I hid in this basement when things got too bad at home for him to stay there. The guy who confided every shitty thing happening to him to me. The guy who kissed me and then went to follow his dreams. The best friend I’ve missed for two years because I didn’t know what to say to him after that kiss.

  And he hasn’t said anything to me either. My heart starts to hammer because I know he must still care.

  “Sky, you still there?” Joey asks, and his voice shows his worry.

  “Yeah, how’s Danny?”

  “Yo,” Joey says, loud enough I know he’s not talking to me; “Madman, Sky wants to know how you’re doing.”

  I crush my eyes shut and sit down on my bed. I should’ve known better.

  “What about the rest of us?” Zack calls from the background. “Oh, right — you’re the favorite, Maddox!”

  I hear Danny laugh, and the erratic beating in my chest softens. I love that sound, maybe even more than Joey’s laughter.

  “I don’t have favorites,” I reply. “Danny’s just nicer than the rest of them.”

  “Ha! You’re telling me!”

  “Dude, get to your point. I get the sibling love thing, but we’re all on the edge of our seats here. Madman looks like he’s going to have a heart attack,” Aaron chimes in, the deep cadence of his voice something I’d know anywhere.

  “Shove it. I’m getting there,” Joey hollers back, and I have to pull the cell phone away from my ear.

  “I’m listening,” I say.

  “I’m coming home to get you. I want you to be our tour photographer.”

  I flop back in my bed. “When are you coming home?”

  “Two days, Sky.”

  I press my palm against my forehead. “And when do we leave?”

  “So you’re in?”

  I roll over to look at the summer class form I’ve yet to send into the college pinned up on my bulletin board.

  “Hell yes!” I reply, and it’s obvious Joey put me on speaker phone fr
om the whooping sounds that reverberate through my phone. I recognize all their voices as they celebrate– but there’s one missing.

  Danny’s.

  Chapter 2

  I run my hands through my mousy blonde hair, tangling my fingers in the back as I put my head on my knees. I’m exhausted from fighting with Mom and Dad, but eventually, they give in. They let Joey do his thing, so it’s only fair they let me do mine, although Dad seems more bothered by the fact I’m going to be on a cramped tour bus with three guys who aren’t related to me.

  They might as well be; except for Danny, which brings me to my current anxiety issue. I can’t stop thinking about him. I can’t stop wondering why he’s followed my Instagram but hasn’t tried to actually talk to me, and worst of all, the fact he was the only one who didn’t make any noise of excitement. My eyes move to the picture on my bulletin board that’s worn at the edges from me holding it. It’s of Danny trying to teach me the drums, very unsuccessfully, but we’re both laughing, and his split lip is mostly healed.

  I swallow as my eyes rise to the door that leads out to the backyard, and my mind fills with the memory.

  The rain hammered against the windows, but I could still hear the faintest knock in the dark. I sat up in bed, and I could see a silhouette, dripping wet in a black hoody huddling by the door. I knew who it was immediately. It wasn’t the first time he showed up in the middle of the night and my body tensed with fear.

  What did she do to him now? I wondered as I got up and rushed to the door.

  “Danny,” I whispered as I pulled the door open and he slipped in, his backpack just as soaked as the rest of him. I turned on the dim light I kept by the entrance for this very purpose, and he lowered his hood. The left side of his face was completely swollen, and his lip split, dry blood staining his chin. “Oh, God, Danny. Did she–?”

  I didn’t finish the sentence; his slow, pained nod said it all.

  “You’re never going back there again,” I said as I went to my dresser and pulled out a fresh hoodie and pajamas for him. They were there from the last time this happened, but I’d never seen it that bad. It happened so many times I didn’t know what number this was. It needed to be the last, though.

  “Sky,” Danny’s voice was hoarse from yelling, crying or both. The tears tumbled down my face as I turned to face him.

  “No. Never again. I won’t let you go back,” I replied, stepping forward and putting my hand gently on his injured face. He lowered his forehead to mine.

  “Don’t cry, Sky. I don’t mean to put this on you time and time again. I just don’t know who else to talk to. You get it. I don’t have to explain, and you get it,” he replied, swallowing.

  I locked my eyes on his. “She’s not going to stop, Danny. I know you love her–“

  His eyes flashed, and I realized at that moment it had gone too far.

  “What are you going to do? Hide me in your basement?” Danny asked as his thumbs came up to my cheeks to wipe away the tears. I nodded. That was exactly what I was going to do. “Hiding a boy in your basement?”

  “You’re not just any boy, Danny. Even if my parents found out–they’d get it–“

  “I don’t want anyone to know.”

  “I know,” I whispered. “But you can’t go back. We’ll make this work — you practically live here already.”

  He went to smile and instantly winced, pulling back and putting his hand over his now gushing lip.

  “Let’s get you fixed up,” I said as I gave him the clothes. “Get into this dry stuff and I’ll get the first-aid kit.”

  When I came out of the bathroom, he sat on my bed, pulling the cotton band t-shirt over his muscled upper body. My heart hammered in my chest, and I bit my lip.

  “A little better?” I asked as I sat down, and he turned so I could fix him up.

  His red-rimmed eyes locked on mine. “I’m always better when I’m with you.”

  “Promise me you won’t go back,” I begged as I cleaned his cut. “Please, Danny. Promise me.”

  “I promise,” he replied as he closed his eyes, bringing his hand up to move mine to his lips, kissing it.

  I reminded myself he was out of my league. We were friends. I knew his darkest secrets. Besides, I was just fifteen, and he just turned eighteen.

  It would never happen.

  I told myself the same thing over and over that summer he spent hidden in my basement. He never went home again, and then, when the band decided to go on tour he didn’t have to. I didn’t blame him for leaving, but I couldn’t get passed what happened the night before they left to go on tour.

  The kiss by the pool.

  There’s a commotion upstairs that pulls me from my thoughts, and I know they’re here.

  “Sky!” Joey’s voice booms down the stairs and then he’s sliding down the banister. “There’s my lit– holy shit on a popsicle stick!”

  “What?” I ask as I stand and put my hands on my hips.

  “I guess I need to stop saying little sister,” Joey says as he pulls me into his arms, and I see Danny at the bottom of the stairs. He looks at the futon that no ones slept on since him before his gaze meets mine and then falls to his feet.

  I close my eyes and hug Joey back, so I don’t have to look at Danny, but my heartbeat remains completely unstable.

  “I missed you,” I whisper, and a part of me knows I don’t just mean my brother.

  I’m not mad the guys left. They needed to. Danny needed to.

  “I can tell,” Joey says as he holds me out at arm’s length. “The good news is we’ll get to spend a shit-ton of time together touring the country in an RV the size of this very room.”

  “Exciting,” I reply, and I peek my head around Joey. “Hey, Danny.”

  He nods at me, his eyes only lifting for a moment as he puts his hands in his front pockets.

  “I guess there’s one person who didn’t miss me,” I say to Joey as I lick my lips.

  Danny finally steps off the stairs. “No, Sky, that’s not it.”

  Joey looks between us. “He missed you, believe me.”

  I look back up at Danny, and his mouth hangs open.

  “You could, like hug her or something,” Joey suggests, signaling with his hands to close the gap between us. “It won’t be weird for me, but judging by this epic weirdness, it will be for you guys.”

  Danny steps forward, and I look up into his hazel eyes. His lips slip up into the boyish smile, and then I’m engulfed in his arms. I bury my head in his shoulder, biting back tears for how many times I’ve needed him over the years he’s been gone. His voice is muffled by my hair as he whispers, “You look amazing, Sky.”

  Joey claps, and it breaks us apart. He points between us, narrowing his eyes. “Now, that was more like it! Hopefully, it won’t be so awkward with Zack and Aaron.”

  “I’m sure it won’t be,” Danny says as he rubs the back of his neck. “I’m staying here until we hit the road. I figure sleeping on Joey’s floor is good preparation for the RV.”

  Danny seems to understand the question in my eyes and gives a small nod that I’m sure Joey doesn’t notice. I slip my hand into his quickly and squeeze before letting go. Danny’s throat rises as he swallows, and I watch as the hand I touched forms a fist. His eyes are locked on my bulletin board, and I know why. My chest tightens.

  The picture.

  “Joey! Mom yells down the stairs. “You’re going to have plenty of time with your sister– come spend some time with us– you too, Danny!”

  Joey rolls his eyes before heading back up the stairs, followed by Danny. When the door closes, I flop back on the bed, rubbing my hands over my face.

  You look amazing.

  What’s that supposed to mean? I sit up and head straight for the door, grabbing my longboard on the way out.

  I need to clear my mind.

  Chapter 3

  I stare out at the vast black of the pavement and take a deep breath before pushing my earbuds in. I don’t w
ant to think about Danny, or how I’m going to survive on tour with him when hugging him practically sent me over the edge. There’s a gnawing feeling in my stomach that I know too well– missing him. I crank the music up in hopes it will wash the thoughts out of my brain, and then I push off, moving in smooth, wide carves down the hill in front of the house. I stop midway down the hill, leaning forward and putting my hands behind my back, so I gain speed, then I slip my feet out, shoving my board out in front of me as the pucks on my gloved hands dig into the ground. I can’t hear the noise over the sound of the music, but I can feel the plastic grinding down. I push back up the hill to the flatter area that has just enough tilt that I can carve tighter, weaving in and out of the cones I placed there. My body gains its rhythm as I exit the board, and then jump back on to begin dancing over its surface. With each move, I let go of the frustration and then it’s just me, the pavement and my board.

  Nothing else.

  Not even that kiss.

  I move off the board, planning on doing a ghost stride, but lose my footing. My ass scoots across the pavement, knocking the wind out of me as I watch my longboard continue down the road without me.

  That kiss.

  My first kiss.

  “I can’t believe you’re leaving,” I said as I kicked my feet in the freezing water of the in-ground pool. It was late, the party over and all the guys had passed out in various pool chairs across from us. All their friends had already gone home, but Danny and I were still up.

  “I know,” Danny replied, and the skin of his arm was warm against mine. I glanced over at him, and his eyes were on our hands, gripping the edge of the pool, touching on the sides just like our arms. He swallowed, and his eyes came up to mine. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.”

  I laughed. “Without me? I’m pretty sure you’ll be just fine.”

  Danny’s serious eyes raced over my face and cut my laughter short. “I don’t know what would’ve happened to me if you hadn’t made me make that promise.”