Behind the Lens (Boys of Fallout Book 2) Read online

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Behind the Lens

  A Boys of Fallout Novel

  Cassandra Giovanni

  Show n'ot Tell Publishing

  Copyright © Cassandra Giovanni, 2017

  All Rights Reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be produced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  Show n’ot Tell Publishing

  Connecticut, USA

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or deceased, events or locations are wholly coincidental.

  PUBLISHER’S CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA:

  Giovanni, Cassandra

  Behind the Lens

  ISBN:978-1543205442

  Cover Art: Gio Design Studios © 2017

  I’ll fight my demons one by one

  Saving you for last

  You snaked your way into my soul

  Wrapped yourself around my heart

  You’re the only demon left to drown.

  I’m saving you for last

  – MAKESHIFT CHEMISTRY

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Monster's Epitatph

  Undertow

  Lyrics By: Natalie Scott

  Grace's Revenge

  Undertow

  Lyrics By: Natalie Scott & Jace Smith

  Staring at the Sun

  Makeshift Chemistry

  Lyrics By: Natalie Scott & Brent Andrews

  Saving You for Last

  Makeshift Chemistry

  Lyrics By: Natalie Scott

  Darkness

  Unfinished Song

  Lyrics By: Natalie Scott

  Edge of Oblivion

  Lyrics By: Natalie Scott

  Losing You

  Lyrics By: Natalie Scott

  Masochist's Dance

  Lyrics By: Natalie Scott

  Broken

  Lyrics By: Brent Andrews

  Knowing My Demons

  Jace Smith

  Lyrics By: Jace Smith

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Other Novels by the Author

  Chapter 1

  I stare at the video, studying Makeshift Chemistry as the band interacts with one another. After hours of watching videos, interviews and listening to their lyrics I figure they’re no different than any other band. Watching videos is a tradition I have when I’m looking at going on tour with a band– nothing I’ve ever seen has stopped me from going. They love the music they play, probably drink too much, and have spent most of their adult lives stuck on a tour bus. We have that much in common.

  I’ve been touring with bands as their personal photographer since eighteen when I dropped out of college for real world experience, and I get anxious if I’m home– well, at my parent’s house– for too long. Three months is heading on way too long for me. I live with the bands, and my money pretty much goes to whatever I want. Plus, I don’t need a permanent home or a car. I’m happy with what I do, but that doesn’t mean my family approves of my career, which I’m constantly reminded of when I’m home.

  I sigh as I shut my laptop. I’m not even sure Makeshift Chemistry can afford my offer to come on tour with them, or if I can afford not to. I might cave and do baby photography or weddings like Mom keeps suggesting. My cell phone rings and the name on the screen sends my heart jamming into my throat. James McFearson, lead singer of Makeshift. I take a deep breath as I try to calm my racing heart and answer.

  “Hey, Natalie, it’s James from MC, how are you doing?” His voice sends my body trembling.

  He sounds so casual, not like he wants to negotiate a deal. I don’t have the best rates in the industry, but there aren’t many photographers that do what I do or as well as I do. Or that’s what I keep telling myself.

  “Pretty well, you?” I reply, and my voice is solid despite my nerves. I’ve mastered covering the panic in my voice during the hundred or so calls like this I’ve received.

  “Great. Excited to get back on the road, and I’m hoping you’re still willing to go with us?”

  I let the breath I’m holding out as quiet as possible as I place my head in my hand. “I’d love to.”

  “Perfect…there’s just one thing,” James begins–here it is. The name that’s made it so hard for me to get gigs over the past year echoes through my mind and sends my teeth clenching. Jace. “We’re on a bit of a budget. You know from working with bands like us that we’re always operating on the skinny. I talked it over with our manager, Sky, and we can’t afford full price. Would you be able to meet us halfway?”

  “Halfway?” I ask, and I can’t help the deflation in my voice. I wonder if it’s their budget, or if Jace has something to do with the offer. If James knows I’m desperate.

  “I know it’s a low ball offer, but I can get you the rest of the way there…” James’ voice tapers off as if he’s not sure if it’s something he wants to say.

  I swallow, rubbing my sweating palms against my yoga pants. “You’ve got my attention.”

  “Sky worked with the label, and they’ll pay the rest of your fee if you’re willing to photograph other bands that are touring with us–or are in our general area during stops. Sky will let you know your assignments each week if there’s any other than us.”

  I run my hand through my wavy hair, untangling the cherry red tips as I try to tell myself to keep breathing. Undertow is signed to Fallout. Undertow. Jace’s band. I’m surprised the label even made me an offer since the blowout Jace and I had.

  I tap my laptop with my fingers. “Did the label say how much they’ll want me to do?”

  “Only that it wouldn’t effect your living arrangements with us. So any shoots they request will be
close to where we are, and they won’t interfere with the band,” James replies, and he clears his voice as he waits for my answer.

  “That want album art, and promo shots then, right?” I ask as my eyes drift to the journals filled with lyrics on my shelf. I find myself staring at the empty time slot as sweat builds on my neck. It’s about time for Undertow to release a new album. I might have to face Jace, or worse, face what that empty slot means.

  “Yeah, I have a copy of the revised contract that I can email over to you now. I know this is a bit weird, but since we’re so involved in it, I made sure I read the thing from front to back,” James replies, and his voice doesn’t show any concern with the contents.

  But he doesn’t know what I’m thinking.

  I close my eyes and then open them. They find that spot again. I need to make money, and I can’t let Jace stop me.

  “Yeah, email it over,” I finally reply.

  “I know you haven’t seen it yet, but are you leaning towards accepting?” James asks, and his voice lowers to show his concern. “One other thing–I’ll pick up your food tab personally. You won’t have to pay for a thing, Nat.”

  It makes me smile because he seems to really want me to go on tour with the band. It doesn’t feel like a pity buy.

  “I don’t see why not,” I reply. “And you really don’t have to pick up my food.”

  “I’m pretty sure you don’t eat very much from what I’ve seen of pictures of you–so I’m sure it won’t break the bank,” James says, then immediately backtracks. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded…Shit, it’s going to be hard getting used to living with a chick again.”

  I laugh. “James, it’s fine.”

  “Oh, and I have a tour bus lined up that has two bathrooms. That way you don’t have to worry about us being gross…but there’s only one shower.”

  His concern makes me smile. Most bands don’t care where I sleep, let alone about sharing a bathroom.

  “That’s more than okay,” I say as I stand and go to look at the board filled with my photographs from the last tour I was on. “I’ve been jammed on the cheapest bus on the face of the planet with ten guys–I think I can survive quite easily with that.”

  “Perfect. Read the contract over and if you’re on board, sign it,” James replies. “One other thing, Nat. We’ll need you in Cali in two weeks.”

  I glance out the window at the barren trees as the cold autumn rain hammers against the window panes of my parent’s New England home. “Now that sounds perfect.”

  Chapter 2

  I twirl the tablet pen through my fingers as I reach the last page of the contract. I’m not thrilled with its contents; mainly the fact that at some point I might have to face Jace again. I squeeze my eyes shut as I think about the last time I saw him. I had been on tour with a band that was just breaking out onto the scene. The group consisted of ten band members, ranging in age from eighteen to twenty-five. Jace didn’t like me being around so many young, attractive guys and asked me to stop touring but I refused. I felt sorry about the situation, and I left the tour early to see him before Undertow went on its first global tour–a tour I wasn’t going on.

  I took a deep breath as I slipped the key into the lock. I hoped Jace would be reasonable since I was making an effort to see him off on his tour. I was livid when he first asked me to stop touring, but in a way I understood. I knew it couldn’t be easy on him to have his girlfriend traveling with a group of guys, and I figured it was even harder with the fact I was away, and he was leaving for his tour so we wouldn’t see each other for almost eight months. I opened the door and froze with my hand still on the knob as I heard a moan. My hand tightened on the cold metal as I heard it again. I slammed the door behind me just as the woman said his name. My body numbed and rage filtered through me. I rushed towards the bedroom as the tunnel vision zeroed in on the now silent room.

  “You piece of shit!” I yelled as I threw the door open.

  Jace fumbled for his pants as the girl pushed up against the headboard with the sheets in her hands. “Nat, look I can explain!”

  I stopped, my chest rising as I stared him down. “I’d love to hear you try.”

  My body trembled as he moved passed me, taking my arm and dragging me out of the room, closing the woman in our room.

  “Sit,” Jace said, nodding at the couch.

  “I don’t think this will take very long,” I replied, crossing my arms as I turned to face him.

  He sucked his lower lip into his mouth and ran his hands through his messy chin length hair. “I just figured since you were out having fun…”

  Rage blurred my eyes as I cut him off. “Doing my fucking job! Not fucking someone else!”

  “How do I know what you’re doing? Huh? Since your stupid fucking career is more important than me!”

  “You’re doing a fabulous job explaining yourself,” I snapped, looking over his shoulder as the woman darted from the bedroom to the front door as if I might attack her. My eyes returned to Jace. “I would never ask you to give up your music career!”

  “That’s different!”

  “Really, Jace? Where did you meet that skank? How does she know you?” I pushed, sticking my finger in his chest. His lips twitched as he stared down at me, unable to answer. “Yeah, a groupie, right?”

  “Fuck you,” Jace replied, flicking my hand away. “I warned you.”

  “You warned me?” I asked, stepping back with my brows up.

  His eyes narrowed on me, venomous. “Yeah, I told you things wouldn’t be the same if you went on tour with another band.”

  My mouth dropped. “I don’t believe the warning included I’m going to screw anything that wants me!”

  Jace crossed his arms. “What are you going to do, Nat? Leave me?”

  I blinked at him as a smirk spread across his thin lips, and my stomach dropped. I knew he was vindictive. I had always known that. He had already been in three bands before Undertow. His voice was just that good that the label refused to drop him and would juggle him from band to band as they kicked him out. But I was young and stupid, enamored with an older guy with a record that should’ve made me run away.

  “What are you going to do if I do?” I whispered, the trembling taking over my body again as his brown eyes flashed before darkening.

  “You chose your career over me.”

  “Jace, that’s not fair!”

  “That’s what caused all of this!” His lip had twitched before he continued, “And this industry doesn’t have room for the both of us.”

  “I’m a photographer, Jace–you’re a singer!” I replied, shaking my head. “We never have to see each other again.”

  Jace stepped forward, and I stared up at his tall frame. “No, we don’t, because I’m going to make it impossible for you to get a job…after all, you’ve already left one band high and dry to be here.”

  I swallowed, my breathing quickening as the tears began to well in my eyes. “You know how much I love my job.”

  “More than you love me.”

  I loved a monster. I looked around the apartment as anger and pain dimmed out the edges of my vision. Something inside me snapped, and I grabbed his guitar off the wall and slammed it to the ground before running out the door with him laughing like a maniac.

  I hadn’t realized then that Jace had more than just my career to manipulate me with. I left something prized in that apartment that he would continue to use against me time and time again. My eyes lift from the tablet to my journals, the ones with the lyrics I write each tour and go to that empty spot.

  There wasn’t much more he could do to hurt me now. He’d cheated on me, stolen my lyrics and created a hit song with them. He’d also followed through on his promise to make my career difficult. There are several bands he’s close with that refuse to so much as talk to me. For the past two years, I’ve been touring with smaller bands, trying to stay in the shadows, but still make a living– hoping Jace won’t take another song and d
estroy it. Makeshift Chemistry was an overnight hit, probably too new to know Jace Smith personally. I look down at the white space next to James’ signature blinking at me. I put the pen to the tablet and sign my name. Natalie Scott.

  Then I hit send.

  Chapter 3

  When I walk into the living room, Mom is reading a book. She looks up raising an eyebrow as I sit down on the couch and pull the blanket off the edge to wrap it around my legs. I pick up the remote for the television, and she continues to stare at me.

  “When do you leave?” she asks as she closes the book.

  I put my head on my knees as I look over at her. “How did you know?”

  Her eyes go down to the book, and she sighs before looking up at me. “You were getting that look in your eyes earlier this week.”

  “That look?” I repeat.

  “Like you’re getting antsy, and now you look nervous, which means you’ve found a band to tour with,” she says, and her chest rises as she forces a smile to her lips.

  I swallow as tingles rush up my spine and I look down at my hands. I hate it when Mom looks at me like that — like my decision is flawed and she’s disappointed but doesn’t want to say it. I know I made the right decision, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to convince her of that.

  I lift my chin. “It’s a good band.”

  “Metal?” she asks, and I nod. Her eyes look through me before coming back as she frowns. “You’re really going to do this again?”